Tuesday, May 03, 2011

My 4 Day Ayurveda Cleanse

I'm just about through Day 1 of my first-ever Ayurveda cleanse . . . and so far, it's been torture. I have to say, I'm not cut out for this sort of thing. I'm a hungry Vatta that snacks constantly. When I get hungry I mean business and need to eat immediately. I always carry candy in my purse (for emergencies). You would think I'm a diabetic with my urgent need for food - mostly candy. So why did I agree to four days of torture? That's a good question to which I'm not sure I have an answer.

Part of my 6 week Ayurveda class included taking part in this 4 day cleanse. I guess I got all wrapped up in the spirit of the class. Besides, I would have been the only one not doing it. Maybe it was like peer pressure. I didn't want to look like the only loser chickening out due to my fright of butter and prune juice. OK, I'm getting ahead of myself a little . . .

So the day began with me (trying) to get up early so that I can boil the Hell out of water. Did you know that water changes its molecular structure if it gets boiled to death? Yeah well, this was news to me. It isn't bad enough that I had to drink hot plain water all day, but first I had to boil it for 30 minutes. Not terribly convenient and you should have seen the rushed production of trying to figure out how to move said boiling water from pot to stainless steel water bottles (no plastic of course). Nightmare and 4 burnt fingers later I'm ready for the part of the cleanse that scared me more than the "laxative effect." I had to drink something that disgusts me so much I almost gag at the thought of it. And I learned another new thing. I learned about a product called ghee. I wish I could describe exactly what it is, but I couldn't even listen to the description in class. Click on the link if you're curious. Basically it's butter. I despise butter and I had to DRINK 2 teaspoons of melted butter. I scrubbed my lips, fingers, teaspoon, and cup for 10 minutes desperately trying to get the ick off. Being late for work this morning was a given.

I had to take some sort of digestion pill 30 minutes before breakfast. I have to say I easily put breakfast off due to my complete lack of appetite after that ghee. Maybe this fasting thing won't be so bad. Then came breakfast. I had oatmeal (which I love. Wait a minute - USED to love). Never in my life have I experienced plain oatmeal with no sugar or honey. Holy smokes, it's terrible plain. I couldn't even choke it down and half of it ended up down the drain. Now how will I get to lunch????

Not sure how I managed it, but I sipped my plain hot water until noon. That's when I had to make my special Indian rice called Kitchari. Aside from having to actually find a pan and turn on the stove at work to cook the stuff, I was looking forward to it. Too bad it tasted like dirt. But I was hungry enough to eat it anyway. Lunch is supposed to be the biggest meal of the day, but I definitely didn't have enough. I should have planned better and brought some veggies or salad to add to it. Tomorrow for sure.

A couple more special and awful pills before and after the meal. For God's sakes can't they coat these things? Choking them down (with the hot water) is simply dreadful. I made it all through the afternoon, staring down my box of Thin Mints and staying away from my secret cabinet full of Dove chocolates. Very proud of myself indeed.

Dinner time came and I was starving. I had the second half of the Kitchari that I made for lunch. This time I sprinkled some fat-free Balsamic dressing on it and strangely it still tasted like dirt. I treated myself to a yam after the dirt. Hopefully that will hold me over till bed time.

Before bed I have to go through a special nighttime routine. First I have to dry brush myself - just brush my skin with a special brush. Next, I have to take a bath in Epsom salt. You should have seen me in the grocery store looking for that stuff. Now I'm trying to figure out how much a 'quart' is. Thank God for google. I can't believe how challenging this has been so far and I'm not even done with the first day. Anyway, after the bath (and then shower because how am I going to wash my hair in the bathtub?) I have to oil myself from head to toe . . . with oil that will turn me, my towel, my pajamas, and my sheets orange. Great! Next its meditation and breathing exercises and finally sleep. But wait, I can't go straight to sleep. I think tonight I deserve to watch Glee, just to get the thought of ghee out of my head.

Stay tuned to see if I survive this very long 4 day ordeal.

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