Just as I suspected, I'm getting worse with my discipline. I have completely bagged the water boiling chore. I found it way too much of a hassle and quite frankly, I think it made the water taste funny. I noticed that I may have drank less water yesterday than I normally would have during the course of any given day. That's not good so I must make it easier and less unpleasant to drink water. I keep hearing my practitioner's voice in my head telling me to, "do what you can." I'm also not exactly executing the drinking of the ghee to spec. According to the directions I'm supposed to drink 2 teaspoons the first morning and then increase the dosage by 2 more teaspoons every day until the last day you're sucking down 8 teaspoons of melted butter. Uh uh, no way, not me. If I can gag down 2 teaspoons a day, that is a huge bonus and good enough for me. I find that ghee is like taking fish oil in the morning. I burp butter for an hour afterward and for somebody who can't stand the taste of butter, it's about as bad as burping fish. YUCK. And the worst part is that it completely kills my appetite for breakfast. I really can't wait for this to be over!
This morning I added a little sugar to my oatmeal again and I also broke down and ate a banana. Uncooked, because I have no idea how to cook a banana. I ate my Kitchari for both lunch and dinner and by now just the smell of it makes me lose my appetite. I also noticed that my stomach cramped after both lunch and dinner. This must be the special Digestion pills that I take before every meal. I wasn't really hungry at dinner time, but I almost always have a headache and I'm light-headed (more than usual) so I figured I HAD to eat. I forced a little more rice down and then had some veggie soup. Major cramping after that and it made me want to quit right then and there. I'm mentally losing it and I think I regret this whole thing. It doesn't help that my husband is constantly saying, "Tell me again why you're doing this?" I don't know that I really have the answer to that question. I guess I'm doing it in the name of good health - despite the fact that I feel like crap.
No Epsom salt bath tonight and a very quick oiling job. I have to say, there is nothing about the night time ritual that I enjoy and I especially don't like going to bed smelling like Asian food left-overs. One more day . . .